During my pregnancy I would have people asking me how I planned to have the baby, I quickly realized that they were referring to the type of delivery, I would choose. There are different delivery methods to choose from, and yet I would say natural birth, without a single thought. Why? Well, I guess it has to do with the “unsaid misconception” or the “silent stigma” of having a cesarean as opposed to the said perfect natural birth!
I remember when my aunt (who is a nurse and a midwife), came to assist with my pregnancy/pre-birth, I say this because she came five days before my due date. I didn’t know what to expect, with the birthing process, being a mom and just the whole experience of what we were building up to with the nine months. Throughout this, I kept saying I want to push my baby out the natural way because this is deemed the most acceptable and best option right? So my aunt set me down and had the talk with me, her being a health professional was extra credit. She explained that what we want is a healthy baby and that the end goal is to have the baby and mother healthy and safe at all times. She went on to explain that we needed to accept what the doctors saw fit at the time.
When I went into labour my baby had not descended to the appropriate level so I spent hours (well it felt like years) till my doctor advised we look into other options. His exact words were, “how do you feel about a C-Section?” and because I was well informed, I told him all I wanted was a healthy baby and that he should do what he saw fit. At the time I had on an oxygen mask and all I was thinking was why I got pregnant! Turns out the umbilical cord was wrapped around the baby’s neck which was why she was not descending.
There are honestly many reasons why people do not give natural birth, the baby could be in distress, the mother could be in prolonged labour but ultimately the end goal is to have both mother and baby safe. The misconception of thinking a C-Sections does not amount to natural birth is just misguided. Besides the scars are not as bad as they were during our parent’s times. You don’t have to show the scar but when you look at it smile with pride. That is your battle scar, pregnancy is tough and the “battle” title is a good description for it…for most people that is.
Being a mother is not determined by giving birth either naturally or by a cesarean, it is more than that. The fact that you nurture, support and love is reason enough. Like the stretch marks on the belly during pregnancy, which symbolise growth and new beginnings. The C-Section scar is a warrior scar…a scar to be proud of!
You could have had a water birth, taken an epidural for the pain or might have gone through five hours of labour pains but we all got to one common result of being a mommy!
You are beautiful with your battle scars, with your stretch marks and post-baby fat. Appreciate yourself and just love what you have. As much as we don’t go through the same pains and struggles but in the end, we all have a great love for a tiny human.
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